I was beginning to think that bombings were going out of style in Lebanon.
Apparently, I was wrong. Or maybe I was right, and they're making a comeback.
falsafa: philosophy (arabic).
faylasoof: philosopher (arabic). Often used sarcastically to bring attention to one's lack of wisdom.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Your national security or my national security?
One is left wondering, after reading this: What, exactly, is this threat that Hezbollah poses to US national security? Is it the same threat that Saddam posed? Are Hezbollah operatives poised to attack the United States from across the southern border in Mexico? Are Nasrallah's elite fighters camped out in Saskatchewan and Manitoba, waiting for the perfect opportunity to eliminate American freedoms in Wisconsin and North Dakota?
Oh...wait...is he talking about Israel's national security? This is so confusing!
The country whose national security is most threatened by Hezbollah is Lebanon. And no, I don't mean when they decide to flex their muscles and take over Hamra. I'm referring to events such as Operation Grapes of Wrath and the July 2006 war.
The fact is, Hezbollah is a threat to Lebanon's national security just as Saddam was a threat to Iraq's national security just as Bin Laden was a threat to Afghanistan's national security just as Noriega was a threat to Panama's national security just as Hamas is a threat to the occupied Palestinian territories' national (territorial?) security just as Ahmadinejad is a threat to Iran's national security just as communism was a threat to the U.S.S.R.'s and China's national security just as Castro is a threat to Cuba's national security...and so on and so on ad infinitum.
These people, groups, or socio-political concepts are/were a threat to the national securities of their relative host countries/territories/unions for one reason and one reason alone: the United States and/or Israel and their allies saw an opportunity to exploit the situation to gain something out of attacking them. So, ironically, Washington labels them 'threats to OUR national security' thereby creating an excuse to move against them militarily, leading to the host country/territory/union's national security being trampled under US soldiers' bootheels. And all the while, Americans feel warm and fuzzy as they eat their supersized meals in their giant SUVs, thinking that their national security is in safe hands.
Chertoff's title should be changed to US and Israeli Homeland Security Chief. Or maybe the USA should be renamed the United States of America and Israel. Either one works for me.
Incidentally, I saw an interview with Chertoff yesterday on Al Jazeera. I have to hand it to the guy, he's good at answering difficult and potentially embarrassing questions by not answering them at all, while seeming to do his best to answer them honestly.
But at one point, the host asked Chertoff what his comment was on the Al Jazeera cameraman who is currently being released from Guantanamo Bay after being held there for over six years. Chertoff's answer: "I have never heard of that. I obviously don't know every detail about every detainee in Guantanamo Bay." or something to that effect, to which the host replied, laughing: (again, paraphrased) "One would be justified in thinking that you should fire your aides for allowing you to come on this show without giving you that particular piece of information..."
I'm sure heads rolled at the department of homeland security that day. Or maybe promotions were handed out. It's hard to say.
Oh...wait...is he talking about Israel's national security? This is so confusing!
The country whose national security is most threatened by Hezbollah is Lebanon. And no, I don't mean when they decide to flex their muscles and take over Hamra. I'm referring to events such as Operation Grapes of Wrath and the July 2006 war.
The fact is, Hezbollah is a threat to Lebanon's national security just as Saddam was a threat to Iraq's national security just as Bin Laden was a threat to Afghanistan's national security just as Noriega was a threat to Panama's national security just as Hamas is a threat to the occupied Palestinian territories' national (territorial?) security just as Ahmadinejad is a threat to Iran's national security just as communism was a threat to the U.S.S.R.'s and China's national security just as Castro is a threat to Cuba's national security...and so on and so on ad infinitum.
These people, groups, or socio-political concepts are/were a threat to the national securities of their relative host countries/territories/unions for one reason and one reason alone: the United States and/or Israel and their allies saw an opportunity to exploit the situation to gain something out of attacking them. So, ironically, Washington labels them 'threats to OUR national security' thereby creating an excuse to move against them militarily, leading to the host country/territory/union's national security being trampled under US soldiers' bootheels. And all the while, Americans feel warm and fuzzy as they eat their supersized meals in their giant SUVs, thinking that their national security is in safe hands.
Chertoff's title should be changed to US and Israeli Homeland Security Chief. Or maybe the USA should be renamed the United States of America and Israel. Either one works for me.
Incidentally, I saw an interview with Chertoff yesterday on Al Jazeera. I have to hand it to the guy, he's good at answering difficult and potentially embarrassing questions by not answering them at all, while seeming to do his best to answer them honestly.
But at one point, the host asked Chertoff what his comment was on the Al Jazeera cameraman who is currently being released from Guantanamo Bay after being held there for over six years. Chertoff's answer: "I have never heard of that. I obviously don't know every detail about every detainee in Guantanamo Bay." or something to that effect, to which the host replied, laughing: (again, paraphrased) "One would be justified in thinking that you should fire your aides for allowing you to come on this show without giving you that particular piece of information..."
I'm sure heads rolled at the department of homeland security that day. Or maybe promotions were handed out. It's hard to say.
Let's wait and see...
Despite my criticism of the blind zeal with which the country celebrated the (s)election of our new president, I think I do need to give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, Syria is no longer our occupier, he was elected by all of our parliamentarians fair and square, and he has stated that he will try to reconcile all of the differences between our political leaders. Despite the similarities in background, I shouldn't assume that he will be the same kind of president that Lahoud was. So I will hold back any further criticism until it is warranted.
In the meantime, my sentiments closely match those of Tantalus of Phrygia. (WARNING: not for the faint of heart)
In the meantime, my sentiments closely match those of Tantalus of Phrygia. (WARNING: not for the faint of heart)
Thursday, May 29, 2008
They still spank children in the Middle East, don't they?
Our leaders are finally regressing back to their childish ways as the novelty of playing grownup in Doha starts to wear off.
Sanioura reportedly responded by crying to the Emir that Nicola stole his lunch money, at which point the Emir put them both in the corner and called their parents.
Sanioura reportedly responded by crying to the Emir that Nicola stole his lunch money, at which point the Emir put them both in the corner and called their parents.
The case of the falling bullet
There was a heated debate today among some of my employees regarding whether a bullet fired into the air can fall back to earth with sufficient speed to kill someone. I did a little research on the subject and found the evidence to be inconclusive.
However, I did find out that a penny dropped off the top of the Empire State building will most definitely NOT kill you. I also discovered that I'm very good at finding and retaining useless facts.
Stay tuned for more tantalizing trivia...
However, I did find out that a penny dropped off the top of the Empire State building will most definitely NOT kill you. I also discovered that I'm very good at finding and retaining useless facts.
Stay tuned for more tantalizing trivia...
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
As history repeats itself, Lebanese rejoice.
MPs are coming out of the woodwork to nominate Fouad Sanioura as our next prime minister, or as I will call the post if Sanioura gets it, Minister Prime (for some reason, it sounds more sinister that way).
Didn't the guy just say a few days ago that he absolutely positively wasn't interested in the job anymore? What changed his mind?
I really don't get it. Don't they want to forget the nightmare they put the country through over the past few years? Don't they want to put the past behind them and start with a clean slate? How is naming the same guy who headed the last fiasco going to solve anything?? This isn't the beginning of a new era. It's the beginning of a new fiasco.
While we're at it, why don't we invite Syrian troops back on our soil? Let's go all out and ask the Israelis to occupy the south again. We can change South Lebanon's name to Northern Israel. Hezbollah should move back into downtown Beirut, the green line should be reinstated and they should change the new identity cards to include the holder's religion. This country doesn't make any sense.
So while our sinister prime minister gets ready to pucker his lips for America's ass and the opposition prepares for another hand amputation operation, let's hang up more posters of Suleiman and pretend anything in this country is ever going to change.
What a farce.
Didn't the guy just say a few days ago that he absolutely positively wasn't interested in the job anymore? What changed his mind?
I really don't get it. Don't they want to forget the nightmare they put the country through over the past few years? Don't they want to put the past behind them and start with a clean slate? How is naming the same guy who headed the last fiasco going to solve anything?? This isn't the beginning of a new era. It's the beginning of a new fiasco.
While we're at it, why don't we invite Syrian troops back on our soil? Let's go all out and ask the Israelis to occupy the south again. We can change South Lebanon's name to Northern Israel. Hezbollah should move back into downtown Beirut, the green line should be reinstated and they should change the new identity cards to include the holder's religion. This country doesn't make any sense.
So while our sinister prime minister gets ready to pucker his lips for America's ass and the opposition prepares for another hand amputation operation, let's hang up more posters of Suleiman and pretend anything in this country is ever going to change.
What a farce.
You're a poet and you didn't know it!
Geagea must be so proud. There are poets among his minions!
On a more serious note, it seems that the title 'Doctor' isn't reserved solely for those who successfully complete medical school or defend a doctoral dissertation. Apparently, one can also obtain the title through having an intimate knowledge of the human body, gained by years of experience in torture and murder. Our society is full of doctors who aren't taking advantage of the title!
On a more serious note, it seems that the title 'Doctor' isn't reserved solely for those who successfully complete medical school or defend a doctoral dissertation. Apparently, one can also obtain the title through having an intimate knowledge of the human body, gained by years of experience in torture and murder. Our society is full of doctors who aren't taking advantage of the title!
We need a list of names! Pronto!
This petition, while admirable in its call for a ‘peaceful resistance’, is nonetheless politically motivated and biased. As such, a ‘reputable’ news source such as NOW! Lebanon shouldn’t post a prominent link to it on their website with no commentary, no reference, no nothing. They just post it, as is. So in effect the statements made in this petition are NOW! Lebanon’s statements.
Incidentally, after scanning the list of petitioners at the bottom, something odd caught my attention. First, the names are numbered. This leads one to assume that the names are entered in the same order that these people decided to sign their support for the statement. But do you notice anything else about the list? Some order to the chaos? If you don’t see it, you may as well sign up as a NOW! Lebanon editor.
NOW! Lebanon, where do you get your funding?
To retire or not to retire...
First, he refused to stay on as PM in the new cabinet.
Now, the majority is nominating him as the new PM, and he isn’t objecting.
Is it any wonder that we can’t decide on anything in this country? On the other hand, the only other candidate was Saad. Wouldn’t that have been a wonderful(ly high) government?
A Plea to the Children of Our Leaders
O children of our leaders, I humbly beseech you! You are the true power holders in the country. It is you who the masses must depend on for change! It is only for the benefit of their spoiled children that our leaders will get off their asses and do something. Please, talk to your daddies about getting DSL deployed everywhere in the country.
Asleep Behind the Wheel
Today I stopped at a local bank to do some business. There were, of course, no unoccupied parking spots. However, the bank had conveniently hired parking attendants to ensure that clients would not decide to go somewhere else. So I double parked, and at the attendant's request, left the key in the ignition. I entered the bank, did my business, and returned to my car a few minutes later, only to find the parking attendant sitting in my car with the radio on, asleep! I opened the door, thinking the sound would be sure to wake him up. Wrong. I gently said "Excuse me." No dice. I nudged the guy on the shoulder and he finally woke up with a start. Quickly composing himself, he stepped out of the car and held the door for me as I got in, smiling to myself.
Poor guy was probably up all last night firing his machine gun into the sky (and other unsuspecting targets).
Poor guy was probably up all last night firing his machine gun into the sky (and other unsuspecting targets).
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Long live Lahoud! Uh...I mean...Suleiman!
It seems we've entered a new era. An era of change, of reconciliation, of dialogue, of peace (whatever that means). To hear most Lebanese tell it, you'd think God Almighty decided to give up his throne in heaven for the 'big cheese' chair at the presidential palace. Miracles will be sure to ensue.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)