Thursday, June 5, 2008

Hillary 'Shlomo' Clinton for prez!

I caught the last few minutes of Hillary Clinton's speech at AIPAC today.

Wow.

She may not have made it as the Democratic presidential candidate, but she sure did a good job of convincing the rest of the world (and any marginally intelligent Americans) that she can kiss the Israeli lobby's ass with the best of 'em.

Unfortunately, I missed Obama's speech at AIPAC. I wonder how thick he laid it on.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Exclusive!

Falsafa has received exclusive information that NOW! Lebanon is staffed, run, and owned by a pack of Orthodox Jewish hunchbacks who are pathological liars and sociopathic exhibitionists. This exclusive information is exclusive to falsafa, so falsafa has no obligation to reveal the well-informed source or prove to anyone that it is, in fact, true. That is the nature of exclusive information. You will not see this information anywhere else, as it is exclusive to falsafa. You have no choice but to believe falsafa in this, because it's exclusively true. If you object to this exclusive information, please feel free to comment, but falsafa cannot guarantee that your comment will be published.

Pathologically, sociopathically, and exclusively yours,

faylasoof

Silence the violence

Check this out.

I have no doubt that weapons smuggling through the Beirut airport (not to mention across the Syrian border, along our coastline, and through the American Embassy) is rampant, but when silencers are involved it adds an extra notch of intrigue.

You don't need silencers when arming your militia. The level of stealth that silenced weapons provide is not required for Jean, Ali, Georges, or Hussam to cause mayhem in the streets in the event of sectarian fighting. So what kind of activity requires the use of silencers (other than to avoid waking up the neighbors during your late-night target practice sessions)?

The only thing I can think of is covert operations...going to a place you're not supposed to be to kill someone and escape without being seen or heard. What kind of target would require that kind of stealth?

So they caught the guy and the weapons are in the hands of the government (a mixed blessing, of course). But there must have been a backup plan...and if there was, how many other smugglers didn't get caught bringing their silencer-equipped guns into the country?

For all you ladies (and gents, I'm sure) who are having affairs with our esteemed politicians, my suggestion is to avoid your amour like the plague for the next little while. Someone 'important' is going to 'commit suicide' soon, it seems.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

The number of radii in 180 degrees of the circumference of a circle = marada

Our commander in chief has given the following order: Remove Provocative Signs.

Will they listen? My guess: No. But let's imagine, for a moment, a Lebanon with no Ayatollah cardboard cutouts, no SSNP ninja stars, no machine guns worked into a graphic of the word 'Allah', no crazy crosses, no 'pi' signs (I still don't understand the logic or symbolism behind that one), no meaningless checkmarks. Wouldn't that be a beautiful Lebanon?

I hope they'll listen. Regardless, this is a commendable move by our head honcho.

Monday is just around the corner. Let's see how it pans out.