Blue line blues

The clash between the Lebanese army and the IDF yesterday sparked a flurry of commentary and accusations about which side was at fault.

UNIFIL soldier impotently waving a UN flag

Some claimed that Israel was responsible because they crossed the security fence to cut down the tree, an act constituting a violation of UN resolution 1701. It was therefore within the rights of the Lebanese army to fire at the Israelis. Others claimed that the tree was in Israeli territory and therefore there was no violation of resolution 1701 by Israel.

This brings up a few questions:

1) What is the relationship between the blue line and the security fence? Is the security fence located along the exact same path of the blue line?
2) If the two diverge, is the entirety of the security fence within Israeli territory? Are some parts of it in Lebanese territory?
3) Who built the security fence and when did they build it?
4) Again, if the two are not perfectly aligned, are there markings (posts, flags, etc.) to indicate where the blue line runs? If not, then how is the Lebanese army/IDF/UNIFIL able to tell with certainty if a given tree is one one side or the other of the blue line at a glance without using sophisticated technology?
5) Is the space between the fence and the blue line (assuming there is such a space) some sort of demilitarized zone? If so, what are the rules governing the rights of either party if the opposing party enters this zone?

All reports I've seen on this incident have been very vague on the issue of the blue line/security fence. Those blaming Israel seem to be claiming that the fence IS the blue line, and the those defending Israel seem to be claiming that the blue line (at least in the area of the fighting yesterday) is farther north of the fence.

Unless the questions above are addressed, and unless there is a consensus on the answers, the accusations will continue to fly with none bearing any weight.

The series of events that lead to the fighting are, for the most part, not in dispute. So what remains is for the UN to declare that the IDF either crossed into Lebanese territory or it didn't (or, in the case of the demilitarized zone theory, was it within Israel's rights to cross into the zone), which would decide the whole thing.

Tribunal tribulations

How can the LF leader make these statements and sound in any way credible? At the risk of stating the obvious, consider the following scenario:


- Mr. A is found dead. Three witnesses come forward, all stating that Mr. B did it.

- Mr. B gets arrested and waits in jail for the investigation to continue.

- Later, Mr. B is released with no charge, completely innocent.

Shouldn't it follow that the witnesses who came forward to accuse Mr. B, at the very least, be interrogated? Why did they all tell the same (false) story? Who was behind it? Could the witnesses possibly provide clues as to who the real culprit was, or at least lead investigators in the right direction?

Now back to the situation at hand. My point here is not to defend the four security chiefs or Syria. The security chiefs who were arrested are no angels. There is no shortage of accusations that they are corrupt individuals who helped Syria strangle the country during the occupation. Ideally, they should be investigated for those crimes, as should every official in Lebanon who is suspected of corruption.

Since the security chiefs were arrested on the testimony of multiple witnesses and later released, then the witnesses' testimonies were false, in which case those witnesses merit investigation. This is not rocket science.

So how can anyone then imply that there are no false witnesses?

If the tribunal is not investigating the witnesses (and to all appearances it is not), how can Rafik Hariri's son, Saad, or we, the Lebanese, or the UN view it as a credible body that is performing its duties with due diligence?

Again, everything I've said here is obvious, but it seems that many people either refuse to see it, or in the case of certain politicians, actively deny it.

Am I way off here? Is there something I'm missing?

But the levy was dry

Now that the World Cup is over, what is this dude going to do with his pimped out Chevy Cavalier?

It says "HOLAND" across the top of the trunk.

In retrospect, maybe spray-painting his car fluorescent orange wasn't such a good idea. He's probably kicking himself.

And it's kinda sad that as big a fan of Holland as he is, he can't spell it right. On the other hand, I could be wrong and this masterpiece of modern design could just be an homage to the controversial lost continent of Ho-Land.

If you look closely, you can see that one of his friends left what looks like a Spane flag in the back of the car.

A post with a moral

The other day I was driving on the highway towards Jounieh, and there was quite a bit of traffic. Consequently, there was a fair number of hawkers selling bug zappers, straw hats, cologne, etc. on the side of the road. Just past the tunnel, I saw this guy:

Selling sponges that clean
and shine your dashboard

Well, some guy in a shiny new CLK a few cars ahead of mine decided he wanted one of those sponges and started haggling with the hawker. Traffic was stop-and-go, so the peddler had to jog every few seconds to keep up with the CLK. A few times, traffic was more go than stop, and he had to jog a hundred meters or so to continue negotiating the deal. This went on for some time, and after about one kilometer, the CLK dude decided the sponge was beyond his price range, indicated by the peddler dropping his pursuit of the car.

Now, considering that the price of one of those sponges couldn't have been more than LL 5,000 ($3.33), and the poor peddler had just jogged over a kilometer in the blazing sun trying to make the sale, the guy in the car should have felt bad after the first hundred meters or so and just bought the damn sponge. Instead, he kept the negotiation going and turned the guy down flat.

Moral: Lebanese who drive expensive cars are pricks.

Death wish?

Considering the arrests and censorship that have occurred, this guy has balls!

I am reminded of a blogger whose blog disappeared off the face of the earth a couple years ago, Tantalus of the infamous I Hate Lebanon blog. His posts about the Lebanese establishment were less than glowing, to say the least, and one day the blog vanished, as did his email address.

If nothing happens to this Hanibaal, then my theory that the people in our government who are monitoring this stuff either do not speak English or are not interested in English commentary will have been corroborated. But if that is the case, what happened to Tantalus?

Lebanon: the next China

This is an update to my previous post.

In a completely unexpected move, the entire forum at tayyar.org has been taken offline. Remember that trend I was talking about? One can't help but wonder who else will start getting censored/arrested for criticizing our political leaders.

As an exercise, try doing a google search for the following:

hate -insert your favorite Lebanese political figure's name here-

As you'll see, there is no shortage of hate sites out there. Who's gonna be next?

Facebook a breeding ground for internet criminals?

What the...?!

I don't know what these dudes posted on Facebook, but unless they threatened his personal safety, why should the government care? It's not like they insulted the Sayyid! Am I right? And why do our laws protect our 'sister state' at the expense of our fellow citizens' freedoms?

Also take a look at this.

With these stories, and with the proposed bill earlier this month to block voip in Lebanon, I'm starting to see a trend. There's trouble in InternetLand.

I, for one, will immediately be selling all of my farmville crops, trees, decorations, animals, etc. and buying a farmville bomb shelter...

...until they make farmville illegal on the grounds that it's creating a labor shortage in our agriculture sector.

Update: The Facebook post that caused all this commotion has been removed, but the folks at tayyar.org have posted a copy. Let's see how long it stays up there.

The crazy must be gods

I spent a little time perusing the Ouwet Front website today and I have to say, the people who post there are completely insane. I attempted to partake in the Geagea lovefest by commenting on one of their embarrassing posts, but alas, it was not meant to be. Their comments are moderated, and mine has yet to clear the Ouwet Front censorship gauntlet.

Here's what i wrote:

5. faylasoof | October 21st, 2008 at 4:44 pm

Your comment is awaiting moderation.

I’m no fan of Aoun, much less “Dr.” Geagea, but I have to say that you do yourselves and your political beliefs/ambitions/followers/leaders no favors by posting this inane drivel. It’s a testament to Lebanon’s sorry excuse for a political culture that followers of this leader or that stoop to such intellectually challenged nonsense to “put down” their opponents.

Grow up and at least pretend that you respect our country and its future by engaging in a more mature discourse.

Or do what I do, which is bash them ALL for the lying, corrupt, murdering, hypocritical, genocidal maniacs that they are, no exceptions.

This website/blog/Geagea-shrine is imbecilic. Stop worshipping your leaders and hold them accountable. Do something - anything - to help our country, and stop disrespecting yourselves and your homeland.

It wasn't until after I clicked 'submit' that I was informed that my comment was "awaiting moderation." Figuring that there was no way they would allow the comment through (every comment I saw on the site was in fawning agreement with the fawning poster, so they either have a VERY homogenous reading base, or they don't believe in freedom of expression), I decided to taunt whoever moderates the comments there:

6. faylasoof | October 21st, 2008 at 4:47 pm

Your comment is awaiting moderation.

Dear moderator:

I DARE you to allow my previous post to be shown.

Or, you can go ahead and prove you’re a coward.

Love and kisses,
faylasoof

A quick jab at the weak point of Geageaniacs the world over - their legendary bravery (especially when the enemy is asleep, defenseless, or pleading for mercy). Impulsive? Yes. Slightly childish? Probably, but I couldn't resist. There's something about mindless adoration that baffles, disgusts, and at the same time intrigues me, and I feel the need to poke it with a stick just to see what happens.

It's been a few hours, and our esteemed moderator hasn't bitten yet. I will now post a comment on Ouwet Front containing a link to this post. I think that may make the internet implode.

UPDATE: My comments made it through. Both of them. And I got a nice response from one of the Ouwet Front bloggers:

10. N10452 | October 21st, 2008 at 8:01 pm

Faylasoof,
You are the imbecile who dont even read our posts before spreading your bull shit here ..

And i dont need to prove to anyone anything … so khaffif falsafe cause hay2itto 2essem 3ala mousamma ..

I'm a little insulted.

28.75 hundred hundred hundred hundred dollars

Saudi Arabia, according to this "well-known Saudi writer and journalist" has been very generous to Lebanon:

In the last two years Saudi Arabia has giving over 2,875 million dollars for the reconstruction of the Lebanese regions after the July war. One thousand million dollars of this money was deposited in the Central bank and another 1,000 million dollars was the amount of money that Saudi Arabia had pledged to give, at the Paris 3 Conference. The latest Saudi aid to Lebanon was 44 million dollars to meet the needs of the current academic year.

This is the Saudi aid to Lebanon. It is clear, open, with defined objectives. It does not give anyone the opportunity to speculate and claim that the Saudi aid is meant for just one region of the country and not the rest of it.

Ah, the Saudi Press. That bastion of free thought, expression, and objectivity. Yes, the Saudis' generosity is welcome. Any help from anyone is welcome. But Asharq Alawsat cannot possibly print statements like those above and expect anyone to unquestioningly swallow them whole.

Out of 2.875 billion dollars, 1 billion was deposited in the Central bank. Fine. Another 1 billion was pledged at the Paris 3 conference. Fine. The latest Saudi aid to Lebanon was 44 million dollars. Fine.

That adds up to 1.044 billion actually given to Lebanon. So where did the other 1.831 billion go? To me, and correct me if I'm out of line, that sounds anything but "clear, open," and "with defined objectives." It sounds markedly unclear, closed, and with very vague objectives.

Saudi Arabia is rich. We get it. And it likes to help its Arab neighbors. It's very noble, generous, etc. But please, please do not insult our intelligence, Mr. Diyab, by claiming that anything Saudi Arabia does, including its philanthropic pet projects, is done in a transparent, clear, open, or even close to approaching unbiased manner. And when you do wish to insult our intelligence by making such a claim, at least have the decency to back up your comments with numbers that add up.

Oh, and in case you didn't know, there is a word for 'a thousand million'. It's called "billion".

In the eye of the beholder?

Very nice photos of and commentary about Lebanon. It brings a tear to my eye to think of how we take it for granted, and what it could be if we only worked with rather than against each other. Call me corny, but some of the comments on the digg page for this post really did move me to tears.

Too many staple holes? Bad driver!

The darak have really taken their new traffic law diligence to heart. Every single non-camouflage wearing darakeh that I've seen since Saturday has either been ticketing someone or at least holding a ticket book, looking for someone to bust.

Paying the fine associated with a traffic ticket in Lebanon has historically been a torturous process. It usually involves spending the better portion of a morning navigating the halls of one of our country's numerous administrative buildings, roaming from office to office for a signature here, a form filled there. At some point a visit to a nearby shop is required to buy a government stamp. The process usually ends with the offender feeling frustrated, disgusted, a little tired and somewhat violated. I can't imagine that paying a civil fine in medieval Europe would have been so arduous.

What is the reason for this? As far as I can tell, it is a combination of bad management and corruption. Bad management in the sense that the procedures required to ensure that everything is recorded properly and that the fine is ultimately paid are convoluted and extremely inefficient. Corruption in the sense that there are more government jobs than are strictly needed (our head administrators, for some reason or other, cannot or will not streamline the number of positions under their jurisdictions) so an inefficient system needs to be put in place to give all these people something to do.

This forces the rest of us to wade through a giant pile of red tape to get even the most basic government-related task done, including but not limited to paying traffic fines, passport issue/renewal, anything and everything to do with customs, anything and everything to do with the military, and the list goes on. These hurdles to getting things done must have an impact on the productivity of the country as a whole. In the case of traffic violations, however, they are a blessing in disguise.

I, for one, am not as annoyed at having to part with the L.L.50,000 fine required for a speeding ticket as I am at having to go through the ordeal required to make that payment and get my driver's license back. In the 'civilized' world, a traffic ticket can be paid in under a minute, usually at a drive-thru or online. Contact is only required with at most one government employee (the person sitting behind the window at the drive-thru), and the job is done. But in those countries, they have demerit points that get applied to your driving record that can affect your driving privileges and even your insurance premiums. Our equivalent to this second deterrent (the first being the actual fine) is the aforementioned ordeal.

One funny thing I've noticed: To keep their stacks of issued tickets and confiscated driver's licenses organized, the darak staple their copy of each offender's ticket to that offender's license. Once the offender gets his license back, it has a staple in it, which he/she has to remove. This is an ingenious replacement to the demerit system. All one has to do is count the staple holes in a driver's license to guage that driver's record.

I, being in many ways a typical Lebanese, never wear a seat belt. On Saturday, I got a ticket. So now I grudgingly strap in every time I'm in the car. There are far too many serious traffic accidents in the country, so although I am annoyed at having to wear my seat belt, I also feel that enforcing these laws are necessary, especially since most drivers here wouldn't pass a standard driving test in another country. One of these days my head will explode from an excess of cognitive dissonance.

Of course the current ticketing craze will pass, as does every other fad in the country, social or administrative. We are, after all, in Lebanon.

There's no gnus like good gnus...

Disputes abound behind closed doors as our new council of ministers argues over everything from electricity rationing to the Higher Relief Council's choices of roads that require paving in Jbeil.

Is this really news? What is the definition of 'news' anyway? According to Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary:

News\, n [From New; cf. F. nounelles. News ?s plural in form, but is commonly used with a singular verb.]

1. A report of recent occurences; information of something that has lately taken place, or of something before unknown; fresh tindings; recent intelligence.

2. Something strange or newly happened.

3. A bearer of news; a courier; a newspaper. [Obs.]

- dictionary.com

The word derives from NEW, meaning NOT OLD, and as it pertains to local, regional, or global happenings that are reported, the term cannot (or at least should not) be used to refer to information that is already known or expected.

For an example of a story that is newsworthy, see:

Tests find chemical also in liquid milk in China

This is definitely news. I did not expect that the chemical would also be found in liquid milk when I heard the original story a few days ago about the chemical being found in powdered milk (which, incidentally, was also news). Did you?

It can be argued that NOTHING that occurs in the Lebanese political sphere is news. Here's a summary of all the strictly political news that has occurred in the past 3 and a half years:

-Foreign powers meddle in our internal politics

-Politicians are unwilling or unable to agree

-Public figures get assassinated
-Short bursts of violence occur from time to time

That about sums it up.

I, for one, am bored of the 'news' being spewed forth from our media outlets. Maybe we need another war with Israel to spice things up. Or, if you can possibly imagine, something really unexpected like a move towards an end to sectarianism, corruption, and lawlessness and a new era of patriotism, reconciliation, advancement, peace...

I'd buy tickets to see that.

The trouble with sheep

There are so many things wrong on so many levels with what happened in the Koura and the aftermath that I get nauseated just thinking about it.

At a time when the various leaders and political factions are (seemingly) trying to iron out their differences, an incident like this clearly shows that it's all an act. All it has done is confirm (once again) that crazy homicidal shepherds are leading crazy homicidal sheep, none of whom care one whit about their country.

Imagine a New York City or Chicago that has been overrun by organized crime to the point where the crime bosses become leaders in the local government and somehow manage to gain independence from the rest of the state and the US as a whole. Now imagine that those crime bosses manage to hire a genius physicist and mechanical engineer who devises a machine that can move the city halfway across the world to the eastern end of the Mediterranean…

Wait. I’m getting carried away. (Note to self: new idea for a sci-fi/mafia novel)

Will the government conduct a proper investigation? Not a chance.

Exclusive!

Falsafa has received exclusive information that NOW! Lebanon is staffed, run, and owned by a pack of Orthodox Jewish hunchbacks who are pathological liars and sociopathic exhibitionists. This exclusive information is exclusive to falsafa, so falsafa has no obligation to reveal the well-informed source or prove to anyone that it is, in fact, true. That is the nature of exclusive information. You will not see this information anywhere else, as it is exclusive to falsafa. You have no choice but to believe falsafa in this, because it's exclusively true. If you object to this exclusive information, please feel free to comment, but falsafa cannot guarantee that your comment will be published.

Pathologically, sociopathically, and exclusively yours,

faylasoof

Silence the violence

Check this out.

I have no doubt that weapons smuggling through the Beirut airport (not to mention across the Syrian border, along our coastline, and through the American Embassy) is rampant, but when silencers are involved it adds an extra notch of intrigue.

You don't need silencers when arming your militia. The level of stealth that silenced weapons provide is not required for Jean, Ali, Georges, or Hussam to cause mayhem in the streets in the event of sectarian fighting. So what kind of activity requires the use of silencers (other than to avoid waking up the neighbors during your late-night target practice sessions)?

The only thing I can think of is covert operations...going to a place you're not supposed to be to kill someone and escape without being seen or heard. What kind of target would require that kind of stealth?

So they caught the guy and the weapons are in the hands of the government (a mixed blessing, of course). But there must have been a backup plan...and if there was, how many other smugglers didn't get caught bringing their silencer-equipped guns into the country?

For all you ladies (and gents, I'm sure) who are having affairs with our esteemed politicians, my suggestion is to avoid your amour like the plague for the next little while. Someone 'important' is going to 'commit suicide' soon, it seems.

The number of radii in 180 degrees of the circumference of a circle = marada

Our commander in chief has given the following order: Remove Provocative Signs.

Will they listen? My guess: No. But let's imagine, for a moment, a Lebanon with no Ayatollah cardboard cutouts, no SSNP ninja stars, no machine guns worked into a graphic of the word 'Allah', no crazy crosses, no 'pi' signs (I still don't understand the logic or symbolism behind that one), no meaningless checkmarks. Wouldn't that be a beautiful Lebanon?

I hope they'll listen. Regardless, this is a commendable move by our head honcho.

Monday is just around the corner. Let's see how it pans out.

Bombings and bell-bottoms

I was beginning to think that bombings were going out of style in Lebanon.

Apparently, I was wrong. Or maybe I was right, and they're making a comeback.

Your national security or my national security?

One is left wondering, after reading this: What, exactly, is this threat that Hezbollah poses to US national security? Is it the same threat that Saddam posed? Are Hezbollah operatives poised to attack the United States from across the southern border in Mexico? Are Nasrallah's elite fighters camped out in Saskatchewan and Manitoba, waiting for the perfect opportunity to eliminate American freedoms in Wisconsin and North Dakota?

Oh...wait...is he talking about Israel's national security? This is so confusing!

The country whose national security is most threatened by Hezbollah is Lebanon. And no, I don't mean when they decide to flex their muscles and take over Hamra. I'm referring to events such as Operation Grapes of Wrath and the July 2006 war.

The fact is, Hezbollah is a threat to Lebanon's national security just as Saddam was a threat to Iraq's national security just as Bin Laden was a threat to Afghanistan's national security just as Noriega was a threat to Panama's national security just as Hamas is a threat to the occupied Palestinian territories' national (territorial?) security just as Ahmadinejad is a threat to Iran's national security just as communism was a threat to the U.S.S.R.'s and China's national security just as Castro is a threat to Cuba's national security...and so on and so on ad infinitum.

These people, groups, or socio-political concepts are/were a threat to the national securities of their relative host countries/territories/unions for one reason and one reason alone: the United States and/or Israel and their allies saw an opportunity to exploit the situation to gain something out of attacking them. So, ironically, Washington labels them 'threats to OUR national security' thereby creating an excuse to move against them militarily, leading to the host country/territory/union's national security being trampled under US soldiers' bootheels. And all the while, Americans feel warm and fuzzy as they eat their supersized meals in their giant SUVs, thinking that their national security is in safe hands.

Chertoff's title should be changed to US and Israeli Homeland Security Chief. Or maybe the USA should be renamed the United States of America and Israel. Either one works for me.

Incidentally, I saw an interview with Chertoff yesterday on Al Jazeera. I have to hand it to the guy, he's good at answering difficult and potentially embarrassing questions by not answering them at all, while seeming to do his best to answer them honestly.

But at one point, the host asked Chertoff what his comment was on the Al Jazeera cameraman who is currently being released from Guantanamo Bay after being held there for over six years. Chertoff's answer: "I have never heard of that. I obviously don't know every detail about every detainee in Guantanamo Bay." or something to that effect, to which the host replied, laughing: (again, paraphrased) "One would be justified in thinking that you should fire your aides for allowing you to come on this show without giving you that particular piece of information..."

I'm sure heads rolled at the department of homeland security that day. Or maybe promotions were handed out. It's hard to say.

More poetry for the masses

This gave me goose bumps! The LF should really start a poetry club.

Let's wait and see...

Despite my criticism of the blind zeal with which the country celebrated the (s)election of our new president, I think I do need to give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, Syria is no longer our occupier, he was elected by all of our parliamentarians fair and square, and he has stated that he will try to reconcile all of the differences between our political leaders. Despite the similarities in background, I shouldn't assume that he will be the same kind of president that Lahoud was. So I will hold back any further criticism until it is warranted.

In the meantime, my sentiments closely match those of Tantalus of Phrygia. (WARNING: not for the faint of heart)